The ouija board named you as the murderer

SEMPER INFIDELIS

I don't fully understand the quantum mechanics of it 

but I can tell you this

that it sure doesn't feel like the molecules making up my lips are not actually crashing 

and colliding with those that make up yourssomehow

they are not falling into?commingling? 

more science and skeptic I don’t know 

what kind of ill-advised journey I took into the mystic but goddamn you look good in those jeans

you have a way of making all but your own logic lose its way 

I know that she kept coming back even after the ouija board named you as the murderer 

even though your hands were wrapped around my throat 

but she thinks that I am the wrong ghostshe thinks that I am safe

this doesn't feel like safe

this feels like out to sea and I've got a pen knife poised above the life raft

don't dare me to do anything right now because I just might risk it 

to try and bleed this impulse out

 I will waltz into traffic

 I’ll drink the whole thing

this is not the dirt I want to dothese     are not the graves I want to dig

there is soil on the knees of these pants and it was earned planting these seeds

I have grown this lust by hand 

and we will cultivate this deceit

harvest it deep

when we sit to table it will turn to ash in our mouth and bitter shame will overgrow our plots

 I didn’t touch the hose but the dirt got wet

your hand is drippingdripping dripping until I force it down my throat

make it disappearmake this disappear

you say "it takes two" 

but there are three

or four

and depending how you’re feeling sometimes more

you say “I love you more”

and I am bloodied beneath this skin
I wonder how long I can hide until this bruise sets in

WOLF IN PEOPLE’S CLOTHING

“Sweetie Pie” - you call me

but you don’t know 

that it took my whole life to understand that kindness isn’t always weakness

I had to learn to be kind 

my honey is calculated

I smile curt and simper sometimes

this is just good math 

that’s all

so it doesn’t kill me inside

They call me “Darlin”-

but I am the motherfucking apex

and they don’t know that it took me so long to learn not to always show my teeth

you don’t have to always show your teeth

and sometimes it makes the kill more sweet 

I am everything

they are afraid to see

They call me “Baby”-

but if they are too stupid to know I’m stalking

let them be 

their throat will call me predator only when it bleeds 

I am predator 

and they will name me when they bleed 

they will choke on their words 

but they will name me correctly

They call me “Honey”-

but they don’t know how there is not enough sugar in the world to flavor me sweet

they see the red hood

but I am the wolf 

there was never a girl underneath 

tt took my whole life to learn that I am not her underneath 

she was a projection, 

what they wanted to see

what we thought I should be

They call me "Doll"

but they don't know there is nothing docile about people like me 

I am stretching out my jaw and sharpening my teeth

I am the reason I was afraid of the dark 

I am the evil I wanted never to see 

there are labels I never dreamed would apply to me

it took so long to realize that I was a villain 

it took so long to realize I was reading the wrong story

it took me so long to realize that it is alright 

if that makes me happy

REMINDER FOR A FRIEND: A VISION OF LAUREN AS THE FOUR HORSEMEN OF THE APOCALYPSE

You see that you are inconsequential- 
but you are consequence
justice come to serve
spend your time accordingly
you are here to conquer and claim your crown
you are meant to you ride your own white horse

Come vanquish.

You see that you are submissive- 
but you are subversive 
destruction embodied
steady your hands for this now:
you are here to wield a sword for bloodshed
you are for fierceness and savagery.

Come to war.

You see that you are in supplication-
but in your palm you hold inanition
soul snatching
cast your judgement
you are here to lay your laws 
you are to cripple anyone found unworthy

Come starve them.

You see yourself as pest-
you are pestilence
death dealer
let hell follow with you

you are here for darkness
you are here for slaughter and mayhem

Come kill.

You are:
Fatal.
Epidemic.
and people will flee
they will mouth to the skies and plead, 
“Agnus Dei, why have you brought this to me?”
you will bring this world to end
stop time, and watch it burn

Open your mouth and tell them, 
“Come.”

INHERENT BADNESS

The only thing I ever had in abundance was good intentions
fruition has never come freely

You can only be so good for so long
be it sand or hardest stone, the shore always let's the tide slip

There are days when I am tired of being a mouse
some days, I become the cat’s paw instead

There are days where ill intent spills over the top of the mop bucket

and ‘dirty’ floods my chest

There are days when I am tired of cleaning up my thoughts
sometimes, I am sick to death of sopping cloth and scrambling to contain them

I am the rat, rattling the cage
the fruit hangs low on the branch then

How long shall I be "good" then?

pluck it ripe, and wade into the ocean with sticky grin

I am Raskolnikov's axe, bloodied at both ends
sometimes I don't know the difference from the sin inherent and the sin I intend

Which is clarity? 
Is this the tree of knowledge or death?

I'm seeking out serpents for casual conversation
I am letting my tide slip 

About the Author
Carlina is a bartender from Billings Montana where she enjoys the abundance of crows and proximity to the mountains. Her work has previously appeared in The Passed Note. When she is not mixing drinks for friends and strangers she likes to be near virtually any body of water. She watches too much hockey.

Instagram: carlinacarlina_

Thank you for your submission Carlina! These poems are a great Halloween read. (All photos and poems by Carlina.)